At times we feel guilty for asking someone to help us out because we don’t want to put anyone out or we don’t want to be asking too much from someone. Other times we feel guilty for taking a break from something that seems too overwhelming for us. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we shouldn’t have asked for help or we shouldn’t have taken that day off from work. When we think or say such things to ourselves we are telling ourselves that we’re not worth it and we don’t deserve it. These thoughts and words feed the guilt monster. STOP feeding the guilt monster!
When we feed the guilt monster we feed into the negativity and this creates a bigger problem. When you ask someone for help and that person agrees to help you then allow them to help you. Making a big deal out of it may seem like you are trying to show your appreciation but in the end the person may begin to think that you don’t think they are capable of doing the favor. Thus, creating a bigger problem.
When we feed the guilt monster we feed into the negativity and this creates more pressure on ourselves causing more harm than good. You took a day off of work because (fill in the blank). It doesn’t matter why and who cares. Life goes on. You deserve a break and somewhere in the cosmos someone is trying to tell you that you need a break. Ease up on yourself. After all, you’re human not a robot. If you don’t take a break you will become overwhelmed, tired, moody, and more inclined to make mistakes. The pressure of it all will boil over and when the proverbial milk spills (because sometimes it does) we snap. This will cause bigger problems with all involved in the ‘milk spilling incident’.
Now that we know the negative consequences of feeding into the guilt monster how do we stop feeling so guilty? The feeling of guilt stems from judgement. Harsh judgement of ourselves. STOP that negative ticker from talking to you!
We ask for help then feel guilty about asking because deep down inside we are telling ourselves that we are not worthy enough to be helped. Why not? Are we perfect? Are we computerized machines? Even machines need help from time to time (i.e. reboot, reprogram, updated hardware, etc.) Some of the great thinkers of our time would not have done it without a little help. Watson helped Bell, Hammer helped Edison, and Talmud helped Einstein, to name a few. It is okay to ask for help and some will want you to ask for their help because they want to show that they care about the job and they want to show that they care about you. At the very least, they want to help because they know that you are not a robot. Tell yourself that you’re worth it and it’s okay to ask for help because even geniuses needed help from time to time.
We take a day off and feel guilty about taking the day off because deep down inside we are telling ourselves that we don’t deserve a break. In reality, everyone deserves a break from the monotony. It’s healthy and natural to take a break. Lack of rest causes many mistakes. Would you want to be known as the person who got the job done right or the person who got the job all wrong? Take a break, re-group yourself when you need it, re-charge your batteries when your body says it’s time. Taking breaks foster creativity, prevents burn out, reduces stress, and allows time for the most important things in life such as yourself, family, and friends. Instead of feeling guilty for taking a break, focus on all of the positive benefits of why you should take a break.
Stop feeding the guilt monster. You are worthy of a second hand, you deserve to lay down and rest. After all, it’s far better to allow others to help you out and give you a break so when it’s their turn you will be well rested and better ready to help them and give them a break. Life is recyclable like that if we allow it to be.