I’ve struggled with forgiveness all my life. Being unforgiving is like hitting your head with a hammer thinking you’re hurting the person who did you wrong. Let it go!
I know forgiveness seems like you are telling that person it’s okay the way they treated you when it was entirely uncalled for on what they did. How dare they, right? But in the end, forgiveness is really not about that person. There’s a life lesson regarding those who did you wrong and your journey towards forgiveness.
Hurt people hurt people. That’s one of the reasons why you need to forgive them. Doesn’t mean you are allowing them to hurt you and saying it was okay for them to do what they did to you. I’m just saying they did what they did because they didn’t know any better.
We often easily forgive children for making mistakes but why is it difficult to forgive adults for their mistakes. We assume they should know better, right? But what if that adult was once that little child who was abused and neglected during his or her childhood and that child who made all of those bad mistakes that you easily forgave grew up to be the adult you are interacting with now? That child, now adult, never learned from their mistakes. They used poor coping skills for most of their lives and never learned any new, positive ones. That is one of the reasons why we have to forgive them. They just don’t know any better.
But the most important reason to forgive is for your own healing. Hurt people hurt people and we always hurt the ones closest to us. By not forgiving you are hurting yourself (the one closest to you). So forgive, not for those that hurt you, although they didn’t know any better, but for you so you can move on and heal.
The longer you hold onto that anger the longer you are allowing that situation to control you. Do not let the past dictate your present state of mind or it will fester into your future. Just let it go!