Today I’d like to talk about the importance of healing. We often move from one scenario to the next or from one relationship to the next. We never give ourselves enough time to heal and fully process what we endured. We can not completely fly until our wings are fully mended.
I’ve endured my share of heartaches. Some of them were romantic losses and some of them were losses of loved ones. With every loss I’ve endured I never gave myself time to fully heal from those losses. My romantic losses were often quickly replaced with new romantic interests. The grief over my lost loved ones was immediately replaced by diverting my attention on my career or my college studies. In all of these instant replacements I never allowed myself to process what happened to me and give myself the adequate time to heal.
Being able to heal is a large part of growth. I limited my healing time because I was afraid to face the emotions and all the negative baggage that comes with feelings. By doing this I became stuck.
In every serious romantic relationship I’ve experienced was a similarity of the one before and the one before that one and even the one before that one. They were all the same type of relationships because I didn’t allow myself to heal and grow beyond what I was used to. Realizing this was a huge awakening for me.
I do not want the same type of relationship as the one before. It didn’t work out for a reason. I need to allow myself to heal so I can figure out who I am so I can be capable of finding the right person for me. Someone who values me but I first need to learn to value myself. This is where I begin to heal.
My grief over losing my family was not fully expressed until I stopped diverting my attention away from my feelings of loss. I began to heal once I started focusing on me and my feelings related to my losses. This is an eye opener because without the focus on the losses I would continually be stuck in my grief.
At this time I’m still healing. I am grateful for realizing this and the importance of staying in my cocoon until my wings are ready to fly.
Perhaps you need time to heal too. Take the time to contemplate your losses and review your lessons. What you did right, what you did wrong, and more importantly, what you’re going to do next time. I hope in the end you choose you. Be patient and gentle with yourself. There’s a reason the caterpillar rests in its cocoon. To grow and mature. May you stay in your cocoon as long as you need to.